Special Post: An Old Man with Enormous Wings

“The parish priest had his first suspicion of an impostor when he saw that he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers. Then he noticed that seen close up he was much too human: he had an unbearable smell of the outdoors, the back side of his wings were strewn with parasites and his main feathers had been mistreated by terrestrial winds, and noting about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.”

I have chosen this passage because I feel that the full meaning of this text is not quite clear when someone first reads it. I almost feel that the meaning goes a lot deeper than just talking about an imposter who is mistaken for an angel because I believe the man really is an angel, but perhaps, just not what we would have imagined an angel to look like. When reading this a second and a third time, I could not help but notice the connotations and hidden messages behind the words. I felt as if the author wanted to express feelings of ignorance towards the church as they preconceive things that are not actually true. However, this passage could also be taken the opposite way, in which people in leadership see the stupidity of the church because of their ability to believe in any given thing. Because of these two recognitions of the text, is why I have decided to interpret it.

The central theme of the play, I am still trying to figure out, but I believe that the central theme of this passage has to deal with the church and it’s ignorance to the true and what has been made into a pre prescribed belief. The author starts this passage off by explaining how the man did not respond back the priest in Latin, which was “the language of God” , or much less, even acknowledge the priest’s presence when he entered the chicken coop, where the angle was locked up. Be describing this, this is what made the priest cautious about this man because he did not do the things that “the church” believed an angel should do. The interaction between the man and the priest went on as the author illustrated what the man looked like in the eyes of the priest, which was unacceptable in his mind because of the features that the man possessed. This reminded me of how we, as the church, pick apart how others look and act so we can decide if they are living a real life after Christ or not. Through this passage I was able to comprehend the fact that we really have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so we have no room to judge others for how they look, because ultimately God sees their hearts and who they truly are. Next, the author ends this particular passage to complete the priest’s analysis on the man, which concluded his thoughts to say, “nothing about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.” On First reading, this line of course stuck our to me, but it was not until the second or third reading when I questioned whether or not this priest even knew what an angel looked like or not. And if not, how does he know what an angel was supposed to look like. Later in the story it described how they “tried to make him eat some mothballs, which according to wisdom of the wise neighbor woman, were the food prescribed to angels.” This connection made be think, maybe this passage is striking at how “wise people” may not really be that wise and to listen to them and not God, stupidity within itself. This passage also reminded me of biblical times when Christ came to the world, but He came in a way so unexpected that the Pharisees and Sadducees did not believe in Him, but the “low life’s” according to social status did. I found it increasingly interesting that this same situation happened with this man, who I believe to be an actual angel. He was sent to this house, but because of his incredibly un tampered and un natured characteristics, it was what the priest was expecting out of an angel, who are supposedly supposed to “measure up to [a] proud dignity.” Throughout this reading, I really felt that the author was trying to throw out what people expect and open their eyes to the possibilities of new and other truths about spirituality. For if we continue to live in a mindset that is infatuated with a narrow way of thinking what, than we might miss a divine meeting in actual truth.

I feel that it is vitally important, not only for myself, but for others, to understand this passage and really dig deep to find the meaning of what lays behind the words. Being closed or narrow minded prevents us from finding the truth and engaging in conversations with others. We have to learn how to remember that we may be wrong, and we must be open to the fact that others may be right. Also, another important fact that I feel we cannot miss from this passage is that people, whether they are priests, foreigners, or even our friends, are all just people and not a single one of them knows everything about what is true and what is not. Therefore, our only hope and our only confidence should be placed on God as we continue to question everything, everyday what truth really is. We should never be taking anything at face value, but rather we should be taking the time to intellectually think about things, thoughts and ideas and take them to God as the final word over any matter. One last thing that I feel we can take from this text, is the fact that sometimes we may not find the answer to things, no matter how times we pray or call on God’s name. In these situations, we must remember that it is not because God is incomputable or because He does not hear you, but rather, because it is probable better for us not to know the answer anyway. In these times, the answer of, “I do not know”, may be the only thing we can fathom to say, but regardless, we need to realize that we can move on and live life to the fullest, even though there are mysterious left tangled, and unable to solve.

Field Trip

It is amazing the things that you can find within a given community. I must say, that every place Professor Corrigan has asked us to go, I never knew it was here in Lakeland. I mean, a part of me being unaware of these places comes from not being living in Lakeland very long. But one thing that I feel like all this has taught me, is to actually be aware. Aware of the subtle things of lie, aware of creation, of nature, of literature, of characterization, of human beings, and the list goes on. However, this current field trip that we went on yesterday morning was a whole new experience in and of it self. I strongly recommend anyone who did not go to try and take a tour because by simply just being there, opens your eyes to a world greater than ourselves. The people there were so friendly and despite their disabilities, they seemed to be more happy than I was with their lives. The Alliance for Disabilities center really gives people hope to learn, but the cool thing about it, is that they do not force them to learn anything that they would not want to learn. Instead, they get to choose a subject that "actually" interests them and by this, I believe their passion to excel will expand and their goals met.

After our tour we got to go back to the snack bar and talk with some of the people, or otherwise known as "clients" who go there. I spoke with several of the clients, but one man stuck out to me the most. I forget his name, but I will never forget what he said. He told me and a few other people that were sitting next to him, that money means nothing in this world, all you need is love and family support. I believe he was in his forties, but regardless, to have something like that come out of his mouth really made me understand that just because these people are disabled in one way or another, does not mean that they are incapable of understanding truth and love that God has for them. To me, this meant more than going to church, because I actually got to see Christ at work with people with amazing testimonies.

I am sorry if this seemed a little scatterbrained, I just had so many thoughts that I wanted to get them out in one blog. But if I could end it out with one last thing, I would once again encourage anyone who did not go to try and sign up for a tour because you will not regret it!

Imago Dei

In the essay, "The Spirit of God Hovered", by Steven M. Fettke, he describes the questions and thoughts that he has had throughout his life, because of his autistic child. The essay revolves around the hebrew saying, Imago Dei, which means, In God's Image. He questions whether or not we are all actually created in God's image, and if so, "in what ways is this created life a reflection of God's intentions.

Throughout this essay, I was brought to many of the same question that Steven M. Fettke has asked, such as, "just how are categories of "normal" and "abnormal" understood in the light of creation?" He explains before this quote that in society, "[by] identifying "normal" people some might refer to the regular activities of humans in "normal" relationships and communication with other humans and with all creation. However, for the disabled, especially the mentally disabled, this communication with other humans might be deemed "abnormal" because of the disability."

This really struck me hard because so many times human beings are so quick, especially within the Christina realm, to say what is the "norm" and was is not. This statement is a major thing that I have learned throughout Professor Corrigan's class. We, as society, are ignorant by thinking we are always right even when we do not have any evidentiary support to back up what we have said. But to get back on track with what Fettke said, I have come to realize that we really have no idea what the "norm" is for human conditions, so for us to alienate mentally disabled people to a category of "abnormal" human conditions is a completely unsubstantiated claim. The only "norm" is Jesus Christ and since no one on earth has meet Him, than we are to treat everyone as the same, created in Christ's image.

Another quote that really suck out to me was when Fettke expressing his feelings for the disabled. He said, " I want very much to believe the disabled are "marked" by God in their creation and are not problems to be solved." I really had to stop reading at this point and just reflect on the power of those words and as I sat in silence meditated on the difference between how God sees the disabled and how we see the disabled. Of course, I do not truly know how God sees anyone, since I am not God, but I can imagine that He sees them a lot different than we do. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to live with a brother or sister or even a child who is mentally disabled. I know, that through my human nature, I would probably get annoyed or upset with them after a certain point. However, as I sat in silence, I realized that what I see as a problem, God may see as a gift. This was hard for me to understand at first, and I still do not grasp the whole concept of my thought, but I believe that God sees these people as a possibility, a "mark" of His creation to touch lives and influence people, just as well as an evangelical pastor can. Might I add that I have never really gotten upset with a person who is mentally challenged, I was simply reflecting on how life would be if I were to live with a family member who was mentally challenged. However, the more I thought, and the more I talked to God, the more I realized that these people actually have a greater testimony than most people in our world, because of their disability and the things that they have been able to overcome. Through this, I believe that they truly are ONE with society, being "marked" right along with creation, instead of a problem needed to be solved.

The Impact of a Disapility

Throughout my reading of "The Boys Next Door", I found myself being confused at times of what was going on throughout the scene. However, as I kept reading, the randomness started to make more sense. In fact, I realized that this hint of "randomness" is what makes this play turn into a reality for a person really living with a disability.

A character that I have been taking note of throughout my reading is Jack, a man without any disabilities who actually watches over the four men from time to time. Throughout a few of his monologues, he explains to the audience, as he breaks the fourth wall, how he is becoming tired and worn from these men. With that said, it really made me think how I would react if I had to take care of people who had disabilities, such as Norman and Arnold.

Something that helped me understand these characters a lot was our field trip to the Alliance for Independence. We were able to tour the entire facility as well as meet some of the teachers and clients that go there. In this center, the clients actually get to chose what they want to learn and stick with that, instead of having to learn everything that does not even interest them. I watched closely our tour guides, who were both females, and I noticed their interaction with the clients. It was very touching to see how much the clients respected them and liked them and it reminded me of the play. It found a contrast between Jack, and these ladies, how Jack was getting tired of the four men and these two ladies seemed more compassionate towards the clients. I knew the generosity was sincere because none of the clients actually pay to go there, in fact, the representatives actually pay close to seventy dollars per person, basically stating that they pay the clients to go there.

Through this realization of the contrast between Jack and the ladies, I could not help but ask myself, would I be like Jack and become annoyed with people who have disabilities, or would my compassion only grow from them the longer I knew them like the tour ladies? With these thoughts in mind, I look forward to continue reading "The Boys Next Door".

Polk Art Museum: "Faces"

"I went to the Polk Museum of Art for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes." My visit was an interesting one, as I walked around intrigued by all the painting and sculptures. I never knew Lakeland had an art museum until this field trip, in fact, because of Professor Corrigan's class, I have found out about a lot of cool places that I had no idea existed. By going to the museum, I was able to understand how visualizing and paying attention to detail helps with literature. I noticed that as I walked through the different galleries, I caught myself questioning the art and the meaning behind each painting, and I found myself, as I passed each painting, being inspired instantaneously to write a new line of poetry. I really felt like I engaged the art as I spent time contemplating over the different usages of painting styles and techniques. Questions such as, "Why did the artist create this image" or "what does the colors portray in this painting" were rummaging my mind. With paintings with faces or actual bodies, I found myself starring into the eyes of the person drawn and I could feel myself actually becoming apart of the painting, entering into the world of the imagination that brought these portraits to life. I wanted to know about the person's past or why they had a particular look on their face, mostly I wanted to know if their was any connection between the artist and the picture. I wanted to find out if the painting reflected the emotions of the artist or if the painting was simply just for the artistic look that it illuminated from the page. When I entered the upper level of the museum, I came across this one particular painting that was titled, "Faces". I absolutely loved it, because, to me, it portrayed the physicality's of a face and the structure that it takes to make a face, and through that it made me think about the life and emotion that comes from within a face through the genetic make-up and formation. It had many abstract lines and faces that were made from the lines, some took me a while to find, but after looking at it for a couple of minutes, my mind raced with thoughts of, "should we trust the character of a face" or better asked, "can we trust the make-up of a face, or a face just made from structure, without life, from which we cannot trust?" I came to the conclusion that faces, are simply faces, and we must not be deceived by how people look, and on the flip-side, we must not judge people on how they look, because their face is just the structure, not the actual life and emotion within the person.

"The Structure"

This face I see,

I stare at,

it seems so real,

with emotion, thought, and substance.

I believe the face, the structure.

A tingle sends a chill down my spine,

I look again, the face is different.

Once with a faint smile, now a disapproving glare.

Is it real?

It only stares.

I do not know which to believe, my own face or hers,

we both are made from symmetry and structure,

we both have a mystery behind;

however, with this face I cannot decide.

She is a woman,

I do not know her,

yet, she knows me well.

I have met her once, but she sees through me,

through the structure of my face, but I cannot see through hers.

I see the lines and shapes that make her,

and she sees mine,

we are the same, yet different.

What can I know from this face, or any face?

I know her structure,

her poise and symmetry,

but I do not know beyond that.

This curiosity drives me to stare back,

back into the black holes of her eyes,

all to figure out a mystery,

the mystery behind.

I feel emotion and show it, but she does not.

Her emotion is reserved, held back from me,

I do not understand.

Is she real?

She seems sweet, but is she?

I seem nice, but am I?

How can one tell from a face?

Can it add life,

or is it simply the genetic make?

I look again at her, I am trapped within my own questions

I look away, figuring that I will never know her,

know her from within.

The question lingers.

Do faces provide life or are we simply structurally made?

Lectio Divina

Throughout this entire semester Professor Corrigan has been challenging us to go beyond the text and experience literature in a whole new way. Before the break, he had us actually practice Lectio Divina, which I found to be quite odd, but now looking back I understand the importance of the impact that literature can have on someone. In the exert of the essay, Reading for Transformation through the Poetry of Gerard Manely Hopkins, by Francis X. McAloon SJ, I see another reason of why this method of studying and meditating on literature is amazingly important. McAloon explains that throughout his years as an undergraduate, he had to study Manley Hopkins' poetry, a type of poetry that was so intricately designed that it was very difficult for McAloon to comprehend without getting his thoughts all jumbled up. Even though he dreaded trying to understand the poetry, he gave it another chance after a professor encouraged him to further his studies on the poet. The only way that this was made possible for him was through the method of Lectio Divina, in which McAllon stated that he " came to a fresh appreciation for the man and his poetry."

The five steps in Lectio Divina that he went through were (1) he began with prayer in silencio, in order for him "to clear the mind of distracting thoughts"; (2) he performed lectio, which is "a slow reading of the day's poetic text; (3) he spent time in meditatio as he paused "to reflect upon words, phrases, metaphors [and] images; (4) he led himself into oratio, which addressed "God in personal prayers of praise; and (5) he entered, once again, into a prolonged silence, known as contemplatio, "which typically involved sitting quietly in silence," so that he could be open to God's presence.

Without this, McAloon, would have not progressed to the state of understandment as he is in now. This made me think, if McAloon was able to be transformed through the knowledge grasped by doing the method, Lectio Divina, how much more would we, as Christ followers, also attain if we were to perform the same method while reading scripture. How much more revelation would we achieve and how much transformation, which is ultimately the outcome of this practice, would we receive? With everything that Professor Corrigan has taught this semester, I feel that every bit of it ties back into this concept; to reflect and meditate on the things around us, whether it is through literature, nature, or simply, the subtle things of life. If we can learn to approach the things we read and do with prayer, meditation, praise and silence I believe that we will be transformed as the essay describes.

Darkness

Paul Corrigan stated in class, "our faith is not based on how well we answer questions but on how authentic our questions are." I do not know how other people took this but, when I heard this from him, I took a lot of truth from it as I considered the world that we live in.

When I read Professor Corrigan's article, Darkness, Questions, Poetry and Spiritual Hope, what stood out the most to me was how when we go through times of darkness, we do not want the cookie cutter answer from Christians informing us that everything will be alright. Instead, we need the authenticity from people to not just come up with what they assume to be the right answer for our given situation, but rather reflect in what this dark moment creates us to question. In the article Corrigan gives credit to Laurence Freeman by quoting an idea from which holds a firm stance on what authentic questions are. Freeman's quote was, "We should make sure we have truly heard the question before trying to get the answer right... Important questions create silence."

Between these two quotes and many more that were in the article, I saw a major connection from the two and how they coincide with each other. By asking authentic questions, instead of trying to come up with the single right answer for everything, perhaps silence and meditating on the question is more important than actually answering it. Through this meditative process, we learn how to address things from different angles and confront things with a different though process. Going through darkness, I believe is the time when people feel the urgency to answer questions for rapidly, blurting out what I have called, "the cookie cutter response". Maybe, through darkness, is not when we should be answering questions but in replacement meditate on the question. In the end, we might realize that answering it might not have been what was important, but rather allowing ourselves to see beyond our circumstance through the meditation and silence that the question created.