Special Post: An Old Man with Enormous Wings

“The parish priest had his first suspicion of an impostor when he saw that he did not understand the language of God or know how to greet His ministers. Then he noticed that seen close up he was much too human: he had an unbearable smell of the outdoors, the back side of his wings were strewn with parasites and his main feathers had been mistreated by terrestrial winds, and noting about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.”

I have chosen this passage because I feel that the full meaning of this text is not quite clear when someone first reads it. I almost feel that the meaning goes a lot deeper than just talking about an imposter who is mistaken for an angel because I believe the man really is an angel, but perhaps, just not what we would have imagined an angel to look like. When reading this a second and a third time, I could not help but notice the connotations and hidden messages behind the words. I felt as if the author wanted to express feelings of ignorance towards the church as they preconceive things that are not actually true. However, this passage could also be taken the opposite way, in which people in leadership see the stupidity of the church because of their ability to believe in any given thing. Because of these two recognitions of the text, is why I have decided to interpret it.

The central theme of the play, I am still trying to figure out, but I believe that the central theme of this passage has to deal with the church and it’s ignorance to the true and what has been made into a pre prescribed belief. The author starts this passage off by explaining how the man did not respond back the priest in Latin, which was “the language of God” , or much less, even acknowledge the priest’s presence when he entered the chicken coop, where the angle was locked up. Be describing this, this is what made the priest cautious about this man because he did not do the things that “the church” believed an angel should do. The interaction between the man and the priest went on as the author illustrated what the man looked like in the eyes of the priest, which was unacceptable in his mind because of the features that the man possessed. This reminded me of how we, as the church, pick apart how others look and act so we can decide if they are living a real life after Christ or not. Through this passage I was able to comprehend the fact that we really have no idea what is going on in another person’s life, so we have no room to judge others for how they look, because ultimately God sees their hearts and who they truly are. Next, the author ends this particular passage to complete the priest’s analysis on the man, which concluded his thoughts to say, “nothing about him measured up to the proud dignity of angels.” On First reading, this line of course stuck our to me, but it was not until the second or third reading when I questioned whether or not this priest even knew what an angel looked like or not. And if not, how does he know what an angel was supposed to look like. Later in the story it described how they “tried to make him eat some mothballs, which according to wisdom of the wise neighbor woman, were the food prescribed to angels.” This connection made be think, maybe this passage is striking at how “wise people” may not really be that wise and to listen to them and not God, stupidity within itself. This passage also reminded me of biblical times when Christ came to the world, but He came in a way so unexpected that the Pharisees and Sadducees did not believe in Him, but the “low life’s” according to social status did. I found it increasingly interesting that this same situation happened with this man, who I believe to be an actual angel. He was sent to this house, but because of his incredibly un tampered and un natured characteristics, it was what the priest was expecting out of an angel, who are supposedly supposed to “measure up to [a] proud dignity.” Throughout this reading, I really felt that the author was trying to throw out what people expect and open their eyes to the possibilities of new and other truths about spirituality. For if we continue to live in a mindset that is infatuated with a narrow way of thinking what, than we might miss a divine meeting in actual truth.

I feel that it is vitally important, not only for myself, but for others, to understand this passage and really dig deep to find the meaning of what lays behind the words. Being closed or narrow minded prevents us from finding the truth and engaging in conversations with others. We have to learn how to remember that we may be wrong, and we must be open to the fact that others may be right. Also, another important fact that I feel we cannot miss from this passage is that people, whether they are priests, foreigners, or even our friends, are all just people and not a single one of them knows everything about what is true and what is not. Therefore, our only hope and our only confidence should be placed on God as we continue to question everything, everyday what truth really is. We should never be taking anything at face value, but rather we should be taking the time to intellectually think about things, thoughts and ideas and take them to God as the final word over any matter. One last thing that I feel we can take from this text, is the fact that sometimes we may not find the answer to things, no matter how times we pray or call on God’s name. In these situations, we must remember that it is not because God is incomputable or because He does not hear you, but rather, because it is probable better for us not to know the answer anyway. In these times, the answer of, “I do not know”, may be the only thing we can fathom to say, but regardless, we need to realize that we can move on and live life to the fullest, even though there are mysterious left tangled, and unable to solve.

Field Trip

It is amazing the things that you can find within a given community. I must say, that every place Professor Corrigan has asked us to go, I never knew it was here in Lakeland. I mean, a part of me being unaware of these places comes from not being living in Lakeland very long. But one thing that I feel like all this has taught me, is to actually be aware. Aware of the subtle things of lie, aware of creation, of nature, of literature, of characterization, of human beings, and the list goes on. However, this current field trip that we went on yesterday morning was a whole new experience in and of it self. I strongly recommend anyone who did not go to try and take a tour because by simply just being there, opens your eyes to a world greater than ourselves. The people there were so friendly and despite their disabilities, they seemed to be more happy than I was with their lives. The Alliance for Disabilities center really gives people hope to learn, but the cool thing about it, is that they do not force them to learn anything that they would not want to learn. Instead, they get to choose a subject that "actually" interests them and by this, I believe their passion to excel will expand and their goals met.

After our tour we got to go back to the snack bar and talk with some of the people, or otherwise known as "clients" who go there. I spoke with several of the clients, but one man stuck out to me the most. I forget his name, but I will never forget what he said. He told me and a few other people that were sitting next to him, that money means nothing in this world, all you need is love and family support. I believe he was in his forties, but regardless, to have something like that come out of his mouth really made me understand that just because these people are disabled in one way or another, does not mean that they are incapable of understanding truth and love that God has for them. To me, this meant more than going to church, because I actually got to see Christ at work with people with amazing testimonies.

I am sorry if this seemed a little scatterbrained, I just had so many thoughts that I wanted to get them out in one blog. But if I could end it out with one last thing, I would once again encourage anyone who did not go to try and sign up for a tour because you will not regret it!

Imago Dei

In the essay, "The Spirit of God Hovered", by Steven M. Fettke, he describes the questions and thoughts that he has had throughout his life, because of his autistic child. The essay revolves around the hebrew saying, Imago Dei, which means, In God's Image. He questions whether or not we are all actually created in God's image, and if so, "in what ways is this created life a reflection of God's intentions.

Throughout this essay, I was brought to many of the same question that Steven M. Fettke has asked, such as, "just how are categories of "normal" and "abnormal" understood in the light of creation?" He explains before this quote that in society, "[by] identifying "normal" people some might refer to the regular activities of humans in "normal" relationships and communication with other humans and with all creation. However, for the disabled, especially the mentally disabled, this communication with other humans might be deemed "abnormal" because of the disability."

This really struck me hard because so many times human beings are so quick, especially within the Christina realm, to say what is the "norm" and was is not. This statement is a major thing that I have learned throughout Professor Corrigan's class. We, as society, are ignorant by thinking we are always right even when we do not have any evidentiary support to back up what we have said. But to get back on track with what Fettke said, I have come to realize that we really have no idea what the "norm" is for human conditions, so for us to alienate mentally disabled people to a category of "abnormal" human conditions is a completely unsubstantiated claim. The only "norm" is Jesus Christ and since no one on earth has meet Him, than we are to treat everyone as the same, created in Christ's image.

Another quote that really suck out to me was when Fettke expressing his feelings for the disabled. He said, " I want very much to believe the disabled are "marked" by God in their creation and are not problems to be solved." I really had to stop reading at this point and just reflect on the power of those words and as I sat in silence meditated on the difference between how God sees the disabled and how we see the disabled. Of course, I do not truly know how God sees anyone, since I am not God, but I can imagine that He sees them a lot different than we do. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to live with a brother or sister or even a child who is mentally disabled. I know, that through my human nature, I would probably get annoyed or upset with them after a certain point. However, as I sat in silence, I realized that what I see as a problem, God may see as a gift. This was hard for me to understand at first, and I still do not grasp the whole concept of my thought, but I believe that God sees these people as a possibility, a "mark" of His creation to touch lives and influence people, just as well as an evangelical pastor can. Might I add that I have never really gotten upset with a person who is mentally challenged, I was simply reflecting on how life would be if I were to live with a family member who was mentally challenged. However, the more I thought, and the more I talked to God, the more I realized that these people actually have a greater testimony than most people in our world, because of their disability and the things that they have been able to overcome. Through this, I believe that they truly are ONE with society, being "marked" right along with creation, instead of a problem needed to be solved.

The Impact of a Disapility

Throughout my reading of "The Boys Next Door", I found myself being confused at times of what was going on throughout the scene. However, as I kept reading, the randomness started to make more sense. In fact, I realized that this hint of "randomness" is what makes this play turn into a reality for a person really living with a disability.

A character that I have been taking note of throughout my reading is Jack, a man without any disabilities who actually watches over the four men from time to time. Throughout a few of his monologues, he explains to the audience, as he breaks the fourth wall, how he is becoming tired and worn from these men. With that said, it really made me think how I would react if I had to take care of people who had disabilities, such as Norman and Arnold.

Something that helped me understand these characters a lot was our field trip to the Alliance for Independence. We were able to tour the entire facility as well as meet some of the teachers and clients that go there. In this center, the clients actually get to chose what they want to learn and stick with that, instead of having to learn everything that does not even interest them. I watched closely our tour guides, who were both females, and I noticed their interaction with the clients. It was very touching to see how much the clients respected them and liked them and it reminded me of the play. It found a contrast between Jack, and these ladies, how Jack was getting tired of the four men and these two ladies seemed more compassionate towards the clients. I knew the generosity was sincere because none of the clients actually pay to go there, in fact, the representatives actually pay close to seventy dollars per person, basically stating that they pay the clients to go there.

Through this realization of the contrast between Jack and the ladies, I could not help but ask myself, would I be like Jack and become annoyed with people who have disabilities, or would my compassion only grow from them the longer I knew them like the tour ladies? With these thoughts in mind, I look forward to continue reading "The Boys Next Door".

Polk Art Museum: "Faces"

"I went to the Polk Museum of Art for this assignment, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes." My visit was an interesting one, as I walked around intrigued by all the painting and sculptures. I never knew Lakeland had an art museum until this field trip, in fact, because of Professor Corrigan's class, I have found out about a lot of cool places that I had no idea existed. By going to the museum, I was able to understand how visualizing and paying attention to detail helps with literature. I noticed that as I walked through the different galleries, I caught myself questioning the art and the meaning behind each painting, and I found myself, as I passed each painting, being inspired instantaneously to write a new line of poetry. I really felt like I engaged the art as I spent time contemplating over the different usages of painting styles and techniques. Questions such as, "Why did the artist create this image" or "what does the colors portray in this painting" were rummaging my mind. With paintings with faces or actual bodies, I found myself starring into the eyes of the person drawn and I could feel myself actually becoming apart of the painting, entering into the world of the imagination that brought these portraits to life. I wanted to know about the person's past or why they had a particular look on their face, mostly I wanted to know if their was any connection between the artist and the picture. I wanted to find out if the painting reflected the emotions of the artist or if the painting was simply just for the artistic look that it illuminated from the page. When I entered the upper level of the museum, I came across this one particular painting that was titled, "Faces". I absolutely loved it, because, to me, it portrayed the physicality's of a face and the structure that it takes to make a face, and through that it made me think about the life and emotion that comes from within a face through the genetic make-up and formation. It had many abstract lines and faces that were made from the lines, some took me a while to find, but after looking at it for a couple of minutes, my mind raced with thoughts of, "should we trust the character of a face" or better asked, "can we trust the make-up of a face, or a face just made from structure, without life, from which we cannot trust?" I came to the conclusion that faces, are simply faces, and we must not be deceived by how people look, and on the flip-side, we must not judge people on how they look, because their face is just the structure, not the actual life and emotion within the person.

"The Structure"

This face I see,

I stare at,

it seems so real,

with emotion, thought, and substance.

I believe the face, the structure.

A tingle sends a chill down my spine,

I look again, the face is different.

Once with a faint smile, now a disapproving glare.

Is it real?

It only stares.

I do not know which to believe, my own face or hers,

we both are made from symmetry and structure,

we both have a mystery behind;

however, with this face I cannot decide.

She is a woman,

I do not know her,

yet, she knows me well.

I have met her once, but she sees through me,

through the structure of my face, but I cannot see through hers.

I see the lines and shapes that make her,

and she sees mine,

we are the same, yet different.

What can I know from this face, or any face?

I know her structure,

her poise and symmetry,

but I do not know beyond that.

This curiosity drives me to stare back,

back into the black holes of her eyes,

all to figure out a mystery,

the mystery behind.

I feel emotion and show it, but she does not.

Her emotion is reserved, held back from me,

I do not understand.

Is she real?

She seems sweet, but is she?

I seem nice, but am I?

How can one tell from a face?

Can it add life,

or is it simply the genetic make?

I look again at her, I am trapped within my own questions

I look away, figuring that I will never know her,

know her from within.

The question lingers.

Do faces provide life or are we simply structurally made?

Lectio Divina

Throughout this entire semester Professor Corrigan has been challenging us to go beyond the text and experience literature in a whole new way. Before the break, he had us actually practice Lectio Divina, which I found to be quite odd, but now looking back I understand the importance of the impact that literature can have on someone. In the exert of the essay, Reading for Transformation through the Poetry of Gerard Manely Hopkins, by Francis X. McAloon SJ, I see another reason of why this method of studying and meditating on literature is amazingly important. McAloon explains that throughout his years as an undergraduate, he had to study Manley Hopkins' poetry, a type of poetry that was so intricately designed that it was very difficult for McAloon to comprehend without getting his thoughts all jumbled up. Even though he dreaded trying to understand the poetry, he gave it another chance after a professor encouraged him to further his studies on the poet. The only way that this was made possible for him was through the method of Lectio Divina, in which McAllon stated that he " came to a fresh appreciation for the man and his poetry."

The five steps in Lectio Divina that he went through were (1) he began with prayer in silencio, in order for him "to clear the mind of distracting thoughts"; (2) he performed lectio, which is "a slow reading of the day's poetic text; (3) he spent time in meditatio as he paused "to reflect upon words, phrases, metaphors [and] images; (4) he led himself into oratio, which addressed "God in personal prayers of praise; and (5) he entered, once again, into a prolonged silence, known as contemplatio, "which typically involved sitting quietly in silence," so that he could be open to God's presence.

Without this, McAloon, would have not progressed to the state of understandment as he is in now. This made me think, if McAloon was able to be transformed through the knowledge grasped by doing the method, Lectio Divina, how much more would we, as Christ followers, also attain if we were to perform the same method while reading scripture. How much more revelation would we achieve and how much transformation, which is ultimately the outcome of this practice, would we receive? With everything that Professor Corrigan has taught this semester, I feel that every bit of it ties back into this concept; to reflect and meditate on the things around us, whether it is through literature, nature, or simply, the subtle things of life. If we can learn to approach the things we read and do with prayer, meditation, praise and silence I believe that we will be transformed as the essay describes.

Darkness

Paul Corrigan stated in class, "our faith is not based on how well we answer questions but on how authentic our questions are." I do not know how other people took this but, when I heard this from him, I took a lot of truth from it as I considered the world that we live in.

When I read Professor Corrigan's article, Darkness, Questions, Poetry and Spiritual Hope, what stood out the most to me was how when we go through times of darkness, we do not want the cookie cutter answer from Christians informing us that everything will be alright. Instead, we need the authenticity from people to not just come up with what they assume to be the right answer for our given situation, but rather reflect in what this dark moment creates us to question. In the article Corrigan gives credit to Laurence Freeman by quoting an idea from which holds a firm stance on what authentic questions are. Freeman's quote was, "We should make sure we have truly heard the question before trying to get the answer right... Important questions create silence."

Between these two quotes and many more that were in the article, I saw a major connection from the two and how they coincide with each other. By asking authentic questions, instead of trying to come up with the single right answer for everything, perhaps silence and meditating on the question is more important than actually answering it. Through this meditative process, we learn how to address things from different angles and confront things with a different though process. Going through darkness, I believe is the time when people feel the urgency to answer questions for rapidly, blurting out what I have called, "the cookie cutter response". Maybe, through darkness, is not when we should be answering questions but in replacement meditate on the question. In the end, we might realize that answering it might not have been what was important, but rather allowing ourselves to see beyond our circumstance through the meditation and silence that the question created.

Lake Bonny Park

"The Untrusted Waters"

To stop and stare at water's edge,

leaving all frantic thoughts behind,

I watch the mucky water ripple forth,

I see it intertwine with the tall blades of grass

The mysteries of this place are well to be kept under,

under the water, that is,

to the depths I cannot see,

I ultimately fear,

fear of natures unknown.

Gazing at the waters surface,

a mutli- color greenish tint

will deny me the access to see through it.

I do not trust this water,

for off in the near distance I see it.

His eyes that creep just above this liquid territory,

and a nose that surpasses just a tad bit more,

this image that I am seeing, was not there before

but yet, it was.

Through the untrusted waters,

now a no trespassing zone,

I stand in protective length.

A bird flies above,

now that, I trust,

that, I can see.

It came from afar

from its home in the tree.

But this, untamed, untampered thing

from beneath, I cannot see.

It waits patiently, but I cannot anticipate where from,

cautious now, my eyes will roam,

seeing nothing.

It reappears,

its dark figure dominates the water

but something changes, back to the unknown

and it disappears...

To my dismay

I cannot see where it went.

I stay standing,

contemplating the path in which it took

never reappearing...

Time goes by and no more as a last goodbye,

would it come again?

The sun has set and my stomach growls,

I realize the time,

back to the frantic time of thoughts,

away from the mysteries

away from the unknown

away...

from water's edge.

I went to lake Bonny Park for this assignment, and stayed there for an hour and a half. The experience was mind clearing. I truly needed to get away and clear my mind so by going to Lake Bonny Park was the exact thing that I needed. I went by my self on Monday afternoon, after the rain had cleared up and I went out to the end of the dock, which overlooked the lake. I had heard that people see alligators a lot there and since I have only seen one alligator in my two years of being here, I really wanted to see another one. And I did!!! I was kind of scared because I could not see through the water and I did not know what to expect, until a family came up on the bridge and I heard the mother say, "If you want to see an alligator, they usually hang out around the edges of the water," so my eyes went straight to the border of the lake, where it meet the tall blades of grass. However, the alligator was not the only thing that I got to see, I also saw a turtle and two large skinny fish that would disappear underneath the water. After the family left, I was able to enjoy the stillness of the air and then I heard noises that I normally do not hear because of the usual business of a day. The noise a bird makes as it skims the water searching for fish is incredible, and yet I have never taken the time to notice it before. It is sad to think about the joys of life that we miss all because of time. Time to do this, time to do that, but whatever happened to the time that is just for being still and capturing the precious moments of God's creation. This assignment has taught me, that a person actually needs time to simply relax and take note of the beauty of Christ through nature.

Be Still

Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God!"

Could this verse come any closer to the poetry that we have been reading in class? Throughout these past two classes, I have learned a lot about taking the time to notice the subtle things, like a single flower fallen from the bush that it grew from, or difference in the the trees as their leaves radiate this fluorescent lime green color. I feel that we cannot truly know God unless we sit solely in His presence, so that we are able to take note of the creation that He orchestrated.

In Mary Oliver's poem, Messenger, I absolutely fell in love with her first line, "My work is loving the world." How wonderful would life truly be if the mass majority found fulfillment by simply just loving the world. She goes on to describe that she needs to keep her mind on what matters which pertains to her work, "which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished." I really do not think I could have said it any better myself. The way Mary Oliver talks about the world is so intriguing, it makes me want to see from her perspective, from her mind, but then it hit me, I have the power to see the world as she does, if I would only BE STILL! God knows it, Mary Oliver knows it, so why do I not know it. If so much joy comes out of taking heart with the small, subtle things of life, why are not more people catching on? Why are people always dragging themselves into the same old prison cell, locking themselves from joy, peace, and tranquility and in-caving themselves to bitterness, distraught, and despair?

I know why, because we run eight hour days, if not more working and hurrying, working, and thinking, working, working and working until we are rundown, out of breathe and ready to pass out. We do not think on things that brings us peace, but rather things that we have to do for tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month, and the next year. Were freaking out about our future, when we have not even had a chance to think about our present. Whenever I start getting too overwhelmed, I always think about that line in Kung Fu Panda, when one of the characters says, "Life is a gift, that is why they call it the present." Even though the line comes from a cartoon movie, it has so much meaning behind the words and fits exceedingly well with Mary Oliver's poems as well as the Bible.

If we could just tap into that moment of being completely one with nature, isolated from worldly anxieties and just sit, lie back in the grass and allow ourselves to enter into that "place of not thinking, not remembering, [and] not wanting," I believe that we would be a delight in the heart of Christ. One thing that I have learned from all of these poems is that God did not create life so that we could hate every waking moment of it, no, He created life so that we might enjoy it, appreciate it, and live it to our fullest potential.

The three levels of Being in "This Blessed House"

Just last class Professor Corrigan had our class go further in depth on character development and I must say that the questions he had us answer really made me think further than just surface level. He went over a three level self-reflection chart, which really helped with focusing in on the main issues. One area was an outer circle that was labeled the outer crust, symbolizing our outer-self, and this reminded me of how I act when I am around others. Next, was a smaller circle, but the space between those two was the mantel, which symbolized our inner-self, and this reflects whom we are when no one is around. Lastly, the inside circle was the core and this signified our self in God. While reflecting on these three elements, I really started thinking about the characters in “This Blessed House” and it appeared to me that each character had a complex character that I did not realize the first time reading though the story.

By focusing on the "outer crust", I noticed many things about both characters' outer-selves. With Twinkle's character, she promotes a curiosity that derives from childhood but has remained with her and her husband, Sanjeev is the businessman who has matured into a grounded, orderly and might I add bitter person. However, as my thought goes on in discussing the characters, I look more in depth when noticing the their "inner- selves". I found Sanjeev to be not as bitter, but rather a man who knows who he is and is firm in what he believes in. While Twinkle, on the other hand, is more curious about Christianity than her own religion and is actually quite disrespectful when it comes to her husband. I have a feeling that this disrespect comes from not truly loving Sanjeev and this is the core value that I feel both characters share toward each other. With just moving into a house, I am sure there are many things that need to be done, as Sanjeev notices, by commenting on the things he has to do. But with her sheer oblivious nature to being completely and utterly focused on only the items she is finding in the house, she completely dismisses Sanjeev and pertains her energy to only the things that she finds interesting. Sanjeev, unlike Twinkly is more concerned about preparing their house for the guest that will be coming over and spends more time in preparation than he does with his wife. He is stern and comes across as bitter, but not only that, he drinks quite often, which I feel is a void he is creating in his life so he does not have to think about her.

By reflecting the core of both characters I have come to the conclusion, and of course this is my own personal opinion, that neither one of them truly love each other, much less like being around each other. If I were to further analyze both of their characters I am sure that I would pick up on minute details that would only strengthen my hypothesis. By studying character development, as Professor Corrigan touched on in class, I have noticed that it actually helps you see insight into your own life and your own characteristics.

Pie Eating Contest

In class Professor Corrigan performed a fantastic demonstration with another student in class. It was a pie eating contest, but the only difference with this contest, from other I have seen, was that neither one of the opponents looked at each other. This was interesting because no one in the class anticipated what was about to take place.

When the contest started Derek, Professors Corrigan’s opponent, dug right into his pecan pie without second guessing a thing, while Professor Corrigan took his sweet old time, by taking a sip of his coffee and slowly eating the pie. In fact, Professor Corrigan takes the time to wipe his lips with his napkin while he is supposedly in a contest to see who can finish their pie first. Obviously, Derek was going to win because Professor Corrigan was bound to not finish his pie at the rate he was going. Derek on the other hand, with his back faced toward Professor Corrigan, had no clue that he was doing that, so he hurriedly ate his pie by taking huge bites and swallowing quickly without taking any water. At the end of the contest, Professor Corrigan simply waits for Derek to finish and while he does not finish his own pie, instead he sits, completely satisfied with the amount he ate. The total time it took Derek to finish was six minutes and four seconds, including the crust.

While they had this “contest”, Professor Corrigan asked the class to be very attentive while taking notes based off of what they observed. By doing this the class came up with many analogies of why this was a good experiment. First, someone spoke of savoring the taste, and I feel that, that analogy fits quite well with reading literature and character development. When you are reading a story, you do not really get much out of it, unless you “chew” on what you have read and truly take the time to understand the meaning the author was trying to get across. I also feel that the same is true for writing or developing a character, you do not want to just create a character without thinking thoroughly what you want that character to be like and or look like. If you create a character quickly, you may miss out on so many details that will help the reader believe that your character is real. Even in class on Friday, Professor Corrigan called us, the students, ignorant because we have not sat down and studied as many characters as he has and also because we have simply not allowed ourselves to contemplate our thoughts, our emotions and basically our well-beings. In this since, I feel that the pie- eating contest showed us a lot because many times, I, myself, feel like life is a race/ contest, but if we just would take the time to savor the moments by reflecting and thinking and savor the texts that we read, we would grasp life a little bit better.

Short Story: The Confrontation

Nervously waiting for the storm to come bombarding through the door as she sat in her wooden chair expecting the worst but hoping for the best. The room was silent, but her mind was pacing with thoughts.

“I couldn’t believe she overheard my conversation, now she is really going to hate me,” she thought.

Her usual routine of cramming away the minutes with every bit of work she could do was not on her list of priorities at the moment, but rather worrying about what she was going to say and frantically searching for the perfect inoffensive words she could possibly utter out.

Feeling the intense pain of knots in her stomach and the swelling in her eyes as they began to drain with water was the worst yet, at the same time, a relieving sensation. Reaching for her Bible, Laura, perpetually turned the pages, craving to obtain any information that might help calm the storm that arose within her. She inevitably knew that she couldn’t control the confrontation that was about to take place, but she did know that she could at least control her own emotions. Frantically focusing on every page she turned to, she just couldn’t focus on one single thought so she closed the Bible in frustration and erupted with a boisterous sound.

“I can’t do this, I can’t tell her how I feel, everything will be so awkward from here on to the end of the semester, it’s just not worth it.” Laura reflected, or rather, consulted herself on what to do as she tried to “fear” herself out of doing what she knew had to be done.

Finally, she decided to call her mom and let her know of the dilemma at hand. Searching for her phone as her eyes twitched all over the room, she finally found it resting underneath her papers and books that were messily thrown on her desk. She snatched the phone and dialed her mother’s number. She heard the continuous sound of the rings through the phone as her knee bounced rapidly, and much to her dismay, her mother did not pick up.

She decided to turn to God once again by praying silently to herself as she sat in her chair. It was the only thing she could think to do at a moment like this…

“Dear Lord, I am so worried about my roommate and how she is going to react to me. Please give me the strength to speak in humility and not frustration or anger. I cannot stand confrontation so please give me wisdom and allow me to control my emotions. Lord, I thank you that You are going to turn this situation around, for what the devil means for harm, You can revive it and produce a victory from it, no matter the situation. I know I was in the wrong in some areas so help my apology be sincere and truthful, but allow me to also assert myself in the areas needed. I don’t want to start a battle between us, I have no desire to turn this into a nitpick argument of who’s done what and who is right and who is wrong…”

In mid sentence, the wind picked up and all of a sudden the sounds of horse hooves were beating against the window ceil. The rain came down as hard as golf balls pouring out into the dark night sky. It almost seemed too hard to be rain, but before she had much time to think about the rain the door came flinging open and Janice came striding in. Laura quickly finished her prayer by saying,

“Lord, thank you for hearing my prayer and actively responding to it in Jesus’ name, amen!”

Janice didn’t even look at Laura, when she walked in the room with her hair drenched and her clothes soaked, but it didn’t take her long to address the one question Laura had been dreading…

“Did you know you called me?” Janice asked in a stern voice.

With much pain Laura answered back in a soft, low voice,

“Yes I did, and I am really sorry you had to hear my conversation, but I had to talk to someone about it because I couldn’t keep pretending like everything was fine when in all actuality I have been very unhappy with our relationship.”

Janice’s eyes burned with fire as she glared at Laura from across the room. Then Janice stormed into the bathroom, in which she started washing dishes and Laura sat uneasily in her chair because she had not anticipated Janice to react like that.

From the bathroom Laura could hear Janice yell back to her saying,

“You had no right to talk about me like that, what I want to do with my life is my business and I don’t have to answer to you or help you out whenever you need something.”

Laura sank in her chair and regretted ever asking to have a talk with Janice but after that comment Janice got really quite and all Laura heard for the next couple of minutes was the running water coming from the sink. Now Laura yearned to know what thoughts were rummaging through Janice’s mind and whether or not she should pack up and look for a new room or not. About five minutes had passed, but since Laura’s mind was pacing back and forth from thought to thought, she felt as if an eternity had passed. When Janice came back into the room Laura opened her mouth to apologize but stopped because she noticed Janice’s eyes were no longer fiery red, but instead they had swelled to tears as her head hung down low.

Sympathy had swiped over Laura’s emotions as she compassionately informed Janice of her apology,

“Janice, I am so sorry I did not mean to make you cry!”

“It’s not you Laura, I know things haven’t been going well, I just wasn’t expecting to overhear it through a phone conversation of you and someone else. That sent me over the edge to hear you talk about me like that, but instead of anger and bitterness, all I could feel was pain and misery. I realize I can be a bit picky on how I live my life…”

Laura interrupted and jokingly emphasized, “a bit picky???”

Immediately after Laura said that, the look of terror took over her face, because she had really meant to only say that in her head but thought it would lighten up the situation so she decided to say it out loud. However, Laura knew that Janice was extra sensitive at that given moment and didn’t know how she took the comment. Much to her amazement, Janice started laughing and spoke back by saying,

“Okay, okay, I’m a lot picky when it comes to living,” she laughed out loud, “it’s just I’ve never had to share a room with anyone before and I wasn’t aware how different it truly is. I know some of the things I do bother you and perhaps hurt your feelings a lot but its something I know I can work on.”

Laura’s jaw dropped wide open as she stayed planted in her chair not being able to move much less speak because of the shock she was in from her roommates reaction.

The once tall, dark hair, and overpowering personality that Laura saw from Janice, was no longer there and instead she saw Janice for the first time as a kind hearted individual who actually has more than one emotion.

Laura thought about how this conversation could have gone, but instead it took a completely different direction, Laura was relieved and ultimately thankful that God intervened because the situation would not have gone as well as it did if it were not for Him.

As Laura finished gathering her thoughts, she realized that it was her turn to speak. She obviously realized that Janice understood where she was coming from, so she decided to move on from the matter as she forgave her and asked for her own apologies. Janice, in return was more than happy to accept her apology as they talked out their differences and made amends with each other. This taught Laura that even in the midst of a dramatic situation, we should immediately turn to God and not others and by doing so, He will make a way where there seems to not be one.

My Tea with Madame Descartes and "Character"

"Does a character emerge from a story, or does a story merge from a character?"

This quote was taken out of chapter two on character and I find it most interesting to think about. I feel that this saying may have a tendency to equal each other out. I have found that both the story and the character developed simultaneously. For example in the poem, "My Tea with Madame Descartes", took almost half of the poem to simply describe the ambiance and character of Madame Descartes. Through vivid description, I was able to comprehend and believe the character that was being described as a women that is unmentionably beautiful.

"... Her beauty was singular, volcanic, viscous... as inevitable as lava moving slowly toward you. Even those few lines in her face seemed as delicate as those left by a leaf's edge, drawn by a child through the sand. Her beauty was so close to vengeance- one exacted by the world upon those of us so ordinary, so weak, we can barely admit its existence"

However, according to chapter two, "Building character isn't about mere features or characteristics; it's about the underlying "why" that makes the choice of features or characteristics apt." Towards the second half of the poem she begins to speak to her associate, who is having tea with Madame to interview her. When she began talking, she started off with talking about the war and what it was like during those years. Then she spoke on how she had married a man that was sweet but stupid, which I'm sure she thought of feelings of regret she wanted to pure out but did not. I felt as if she put what she truly wanted to do on hold, which was to model and travel the world.

"And I thought, on day, flipping through those old pieces of hers from Vogue and Life, I'd like to do that!"

So knowing that she was married to a dull man who wanted to take a trip to his brothers only helped her with the decision of leaving him to pursue her dreams.

"That was that; when my husband went back to Paris, I kissed him goodbye and took the train to Tibet-Lhasa-then on to Bangkok, Argentina, Chile..."

By asking "why" instead of "what" for character development, I was able to understand her desire for herself to go after what she wanted, which ultimately helped her throw caution out the window. She even stated in the last of the poem, "For such an illogical woman that's the last 'logical' thing I've ever done," as she referred to leaving her husband and following her passion.

When looking at literature, whether it be a poem, story or song, identification of characters can be established more definably by searching for "why" certain characters are the way they are, what brought them to this point, instead of "what" can a character be or "what" you think the character is. By reading chapter two on character helped me understand character a lot better!

Sonny Blues

Today in class, Professor Corrigan had us look in depth into particular passages in, Sonny's Blues, by using a form of reading called, Lectio Divina. In order to perform this style of interpreting text you first listen to a paragraph or two and then reflect on it. As you reflect on the passage, you write down any phrase that stands out to you and you share a minute of silence. Then you re-read the passage and respond to a word or phrase by praying whatever rises up in your heart toward the text. Finally, you read the passage for a final time, simply to rest in the Spirit as you sit silently.

This was an amazing experience because we were able to take a secular story, and find so many spiritual meanings behind the words. One of the passages that first stuck out to me during the first reading was,

"Freedom lurked around us and I understood, at last, that he could help us to be free if we would only listen, that he would never be free until we did."

The first of the sentence hit me hard when I heard it read a loud in class, and the truth that came from it rang clearly in me ears. This entire story is about this man's life, named Sonny, told by his brother and all we read about is the screw up that Sonny had become, and the darkness that inevitably will end his life. However, there was one thing that Sonny was living for and that was his music, the chance to learn how to play and perform on the piano. His lifeline depended on it, it was everything he had, was, and could be. At the end of the story, which is where this quote came from it describes his moment of freedom, when he has the chance to play in a bar. Through the music, he was able to reach back to the very beginning of his life and sing it out. Through his music/ life, he was able to help others as the crowd responded with "Amens". But there is just something so fantastic about this quote, because it is basically saying that freedom is lurking for those who will listen. Is this not true in every single situation with God. He longs to give us the freedom we need, but so many times we are quick to reject his help because we are too stubborn in our own ways. Sonny's music was an amazing testimony that was able to reach out to others in the most unlikely of places, a bar. If only we would listen to Christ's story, but truly listen, I believe that we would find so many answers to life's problems, which would provide freedom for many.

I would like to end with the prayer that I wrote in class, it is pretty rough because we did not have a lot of time to write it, but here it is,

Dear Lord, who of us actually listens to your story, I pray that we focus on your light, which will ultimately set us free, so we can get through the hard times that life throws at us. You never said that we would not suffer, in fact, because You suffered we knew that as Christ followers, we too, would suffer. But that is why it is so important to rest in you and meditate on your Word day and night. I ask that You will use us by the music our life orchestrates so that it may be a testimony to others. I thank you that you always provide a plan of escape whenever we place ourselves into a situation we feel we cannot get out of, because nothing is too big for You. Lord, just as Sonny found freedom, I pray that others will be able to persevere and lean on you, until they have victory. I thank You that you fight our battles for us, as long as we give them to You. So I pray that we will remember to listen to your word and let go of our burdens so that we will be able to live a victorious life.

The Imaginary Invalid

This weekend we were required to see the play, The Imaginary Invalid, by Moliere. This was actually his last play ever written. He wrote about a hypochondriac, who is so obsessed with his so called "illnesses" that he tries to mary his daughter off to a doctor, all so he can have free medicine whenever he needs it. However, the irony of it all is that Moliere is writing about a man thinking he is ill when in fact, he, himself is dying. I feel that this play fits well with the readings we have been looking at during this semesters course. Just as the play has its twists and turns, so have the stories we have read.

The more I think about it, the more this play resembles a lot of the work we have discussed in class, especially the story, What We Talk about, When We Talk about Love. So instead of giving you a brief description of the play, I have decided to bring to your attention the connections between the husband, Argan and his step- wife, Beline and the husband, Mel and his wife, Terri, in the story, What We Talk about When We Talk about Love. In my previous posts, I have tried to express through my writings that I have not felt as if the text we have been reading have pinned pointed the exact meaning or true love, especially in, What We Talk about, When We Talk about Love. When I first analyzed the story, I stood firmly on my position that Mel was more concerned about drinking and being off call than he was about loving his wife. And in The Imaginary Invalid, Beline, was way more concerned with Argon's money than actually loving him. This rang true when in the second act, Toinette, Beline's maid, convinced him to pretend that he was dead to see if his wife actually loved him like she said she did. Not much to our surprise, but her reaction to his death was sheer excitement, because now she would be able to carry out her plan by acquiring all of his money that she wanted to get her hands on.

There are many more connections that I could make, but I would like to turn your attention to a song that we listened to in class, called, Frankie and Johnny. This song was about two lovers as well; however, one of the lovers, I believe Johnny, was cheating on Frankie, if I can remember the song correctly, and Frankie catches Johnny and shoots him. The irony in all three situations are that none of these people truly loved one other, except for the one that was the victim in the situation. In the song, Frankie and Johnny, the victim was Frankie, in the story, What We Talk about, When We Talk about Love, it was terri, and in the Imaginary Invalid, it Argan. Isn't it interesting, that usually, in real- life relationships you almost, 9 times out of 10, have the one person that cares more about the other and then they are the ones that usually get hurt. With all of these stories, I believe that there are many lessons to be learned, but one that stood out to me is that we should choose more wisely the people we decide to open our hearts to (literally, in Frankie and Johnny's case). If you find that you are constantly the victim in your relationships, I would advise you to start the next relationship you find yourself getting into by taking things slow and truly getting to know the person. Also, I would advise you to make a list, not too long, but one that represents what you want in a man/ woman.

The connections that I made throughout all three of these stories, truly interested and I look forward into building off of these connections for a more in depth post.

Also for the requirement of this post I would just like to add that "I attended Southeastern's production of The Imaginary Invalid and watched the entire play." I would also like to add, that by being apart of the play, which was my first production ever, was an amazing experience and Professor Dixon did an outstanding job by directing it!

Joel 2:23-27

I was reading over again the Book of Joel and I came across the passage in chapter 2:23-27. In the version we read in class it reads,

" So rejoice, O sons of Zion, And be glad in the Lord your God; for He has given you the early rain for your vindication and He has poured down for you the rain, the early and the latter rain as before. The threshing floors will be full of grain, and the vats will overflow with the new wine and oil. Then I will make up to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locusts, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the LORD your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; Then my people will never be put to shame. Thus you will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and there is no other and My people will never be put to shame."

After I reread this scripture in the version from class it made me want to look it up in the amplified version. It does not change much, except for a few words here and there, and it really made me think about my own life. Right now I am going through a very tough time, in trying to manage everything I have going on in my life. It is very hard and I have had to sacrifice many things. However, every time I turn to the Bible, I feel as if God is trying to remind me that the time I sacrifice for things that I have made a commitment to, He will be faithful to replenish and restore everything that I am giving up. The locusts in this story represents everything that is eating my time away. My time to eat, sleep and even do homework has been stripped away from me, causing my brain and body to go into overload. I have literally felt as if the world is spinning and I am simply going through the motions. None- the- less, today I was finally able to work out and clear my mind and after that, that is when this scripture found itself on my desk for me to read.

In verse 23 it instructs us to rejoice in the Lord our God because that is where a great deal of our strength comes from. Hence, "the joy of the Lord is our strength." I know that if the devil can rob me of my joy than I am most likely to be down and depressed throughout my day. However, I also know that it is simple a decision to change your attitude and this CAN BE DONE. With the promises of Christ and the joy the comes from knowing Him, will be my strong tower, in which I lean on for all my strength. Throughout this season of my life, I have learned that joy can only be released by making the decision not to allow adverse circumstances to rule my emotional and mental status. For the devil knows if he can defeat me in my mind, he can defeat me in my situation. But this will not happen, because I truly do believe that the moments we have right now, is all that we are promised, so rejoice in them no matter how stressful they are. For at the end, when all is said in done, if we do not rejoice in the midst of our worries, what was it all for to begin with??? We, myself included need to get to the point where no matter what is going on around us, we can still be consistently happy and at peace.

By pressing in God's word and staying focused, I know that this too will pass and Christ will be faithful to restore the things that have been stripped away from me these past couple of weeks. Through this scripture I know that I can have the strength to overcome because His joy lives in me.

Blogging Connections

This blogging assignment has helped me in so many ways. I have found many different and might I add interesting connections through the literature we have read in class and through the way we are to write about them. Also, by just blogging about what you have read allows you to mediate on the literature, rather than just read it once or twice and be done with it. In our, Guide to Blogging Criteria, it has many different prompts that we can use to write of off and by doing so, we engage in the text further than we would have that that we could. For example the first prompt on the list is to give an interpretation of the work and use quotes from the text to make your interpretation plausible. This not only teaches us how to support the things we say, but it also makes us search for a better answer rather than just the one that we might make up in our head. Searching the text for details to support our theories or arguments is an excellent way to engage in literature, because you are focusing on the voice of the text more than the voice of yourself. Of course, your voice needs to be heard, but your credibility skyrockets when you are able to back up what you are saying on a particular topic with an exact quote from the literature.

A connection that I can see from the instructions of the blogging project and the activities that we have done in class is that they all involve a new way of engaging literature. For example, one of the prompts asks us to translate the work we have read into a painting, short story, or a poem and we actually did this in class. Well, we have not translated any literature into a short story or a poem, but we have painting in class to help us engage with the Book of Joel. I painted a huge red moon because of when in the text it said that the moon dripped red with blood. I then painted around it beautiful colors that intertwined each other to give it an abstract feel, which was supposed to reveal to be a sunset. I did this because despite all the horrible and sad things the Book of Joel talks about, there is a section in the book were it talks about restoration and Christ saving the ones that believe in Him, or at least that is what I got from a section of the text. I abstractly drew the sunset around the moon because that part of the book reminded me of Christ and for some reason whenever I think of Christ I think of the sky and the beauty it holds and how it reflects the beauty of Christ. Painting is an excellent way to view literature in a whole new light, one in which I truly enjoyed.

Obviously, we have read a lot of depressing things in the class, but surprisingly, I have been able to find more meanings behind the works that we have read in class because of the activities and blogging that we have done. Instead of having a judgement based off of what the text means by simply just reading it once or twice, I have been able to find more meanings behind the text. By blogging, it has helped me either to focus on a particular subject or point in the text where I am able to dissect that and that alone and perhaps even relate it to my own life. I think that by relating it to my own experiences has helped me the most because I am able to bring past emotions and feelings back up when I re-read a particular text. By doing this, I feel that I connect with the author or the characters in the literature when I do this, which has absolutely changed how I read in a very good way.

Blogging, like I have said earlier, allows us to extend the reading process by engaging in the text in new and exciting ways. It allows you not only to make a connection with the text and yourself, but also the text and other texts. By doing this, we grow as readers because we are able to bring in outside sources to the text we read. All in all, we, as readers, are expanding our mind to interpret things in new ways, which will help us in the future when we read other literature. I have been able to make this work for me; however, it was not very hard to adapt to this form of engaging in literature. Whenever I read the Bible, I usually always have my highlighter, pen and journal with me, so I can highlight things that stand out to me, and then go back and record my thoughts about what it meant to me. By doing this, I am able to go back to those thoughts when I re-read the same passage of scripture, but usually what I find is that I find new things that stand out to me and I interpret in new and living ways. I find that no matter what you are reading it is always important that you take something out of it, as long as it is wholesome for your mind and soul.

Tiger Flowers Cemetery

I went to the Lakeview, Roselawn and Tiger Flowers cemetery complex for this fieldtrip, and I stayed there for at least 40 minutes. It was an interesting experience in which I felt pretty alone while being there. While reading, "In the swamp in secluded recesses, A shy and hidden bird is warbling a song," I felt as is what I was reading was reenacting before my very eyes as I heard the sounds of a bird or two chirping and then flying away.

Another line that stuck out to me was the paragraph right underneath that, which stated, "Solitary the thrush, The hermit withdrawn to himself, avoiding the settlements, Sings by himself a song." After i read that I looked around and I was literally the only other person in the cemetery along with my friend who took the picture, but those words rung true as I stood there looking at all the tomb stones. Knowing that there were bodies beneath me really made me see that line differently as I thought of the bodies being the hermit withdrawn to themselves, all alone in the solitude of their graves. This experience opened up literature in a whole new way for, which was quite and exciting experiment.